Case: 1985-PF-10-FR-12-DV
Subject: Rod.
Known Aliases: Rodney. Hot Rod. Rodimus. Pastor Megadeth.
Occupation: Student/ R.A. (for two more weeks).
Status: Single.
Natural Habitat: A room. Filled with enough electronic and sound equipment to shake down a small, poorly constructed house.
Thrives In: Spotlights with prepared material. Spotlights with semi-prepared material. In coffee shops/restaurants with a single (In number and status; although Subject is more than capable of handling himself with larger numbers of the female species) member of the opposite sex. Subject performs admirably in one-on-one encounters, however addition of a same-sex member dramatically decreases Subjects proficiency. Also thrives in darkened settings with extremely loud 'heavy metal' music. Also thrives encased within a vehicle in all forms, densities of traffic and road conditions.
Survives In: Classes of minimal interest. In larger groups settings where the Subject is not the centre of attention (Subject has a natural preference for the limelight it seems). Survives in calmer situations with close friends where there is little or no verbal contact (Subject prefers conversation). Room alone listening to music and reading, although after lengthy stints of social contact the Subject needs these breaks in order to thrive again.
Dies In: Extreme heat and humidity adversly affect both physical and mental functioning. Large conversations where the topic has strayed from the Subject's areas of expertise. Settings where others family's are unsure of how to deal with him. Vast amounts of stress from several different aspects of life although Subject's endurance has increased dramatically within the last Planetary Orbit.
Analysis: Subject is highly versatile, able to survive and succeed in a wide variety of situations. Has the confidence of a frontman, as well as the compassion of a highly-skilled counselor. Could use more support, and acceptance from his father figure, especially after acheiving things thought previously beyond Subjects reach. Rapid influxes of stress still can play havoc with overall functioning, but increased coping, and proactive solutions are decreasing the risk of breakdown signficantly.
Verdict: Highly talented, intelligent, and compassionate. Why this Subject has been unable to find a suitable mate is beyond our analytical capabilites. Subject theorizes he may have fallen victim to the 'Pastoral Barrier'. Further investigation in on-going.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
hahahaha
I enjoy you Rodney.
Pastoral Barrier? I'm confised, is that a bad thing or is that a good thing?
It's a bad thing for single pastoral types.
i agree with the above comment . . . stop thinking/worrying about it.
Once you get a girl, all you are going to do is complain about how 'difficult and complicated' she is anyways. Enjoy your freedom while you can. Your time will come soon enough
Ok, I write a whole post evaluating myself, and such, with 3-4 references to the female species, and like 10-12 on other topics, not even related to said topic.
You guys were the ones who made it all about girls, not me. Or did you miss my refereces to father figures, people who don't know what to do with me?
@ kanne: you've got a big mouth for someone who doesn't know $h!t about me.
cry me a river.
I heart you Rodney.
Post a Comment