How Not To Run a Band

This post is inspried by the insipid losers in the band Idle Sons (except for the drummer, he was the only one in the band with talent). They were supposed to be opening for Thornley, who my friend an I ended up not staying for b/c we have things to do today, and didn't feel like being out til 2am and then not getting home til 3 or later. So thanks for nothing Idle Sons. And without further ado my list of How Not to Run a Band/Concert. (or a How-To as the case may be).

1. If the doors open at 8, you need to be on stage by 9-9:30. 10 is pushing it. Showing up at 10:45 like they did, when all their gear is already set-up and sound-levelled is UNACCEPTABLE. When a 7-band festival can run on time, a 2-band gig can certainly do it. No excuses.

2. If you are already nearly 3 hours late, DO NOT JOKE ABOUT IT!. We all saw your "groupies" (read:sluts) coming in through the back door. We KNOW what the hell was taking you so long. And for the record, that kind of debauchery is best left for after the show, not the pre-game warm-up. I'm pretty sure even Spinal Tap knew that.

3. Do not come on-stage and ask us if we've had enough to drink. This is Saskatchewan, those who wanted to get loaded were loaded by 6pm. We can already see your drunk. At least when you play power-chords @ 80 bpm there's really no concern that you can't do it. (And I get to say that b/c I'm a power-chord whore myself). When there's no solos to screw-up there's nothing to fear.

4. Realize that being in a band, your success is TOTALLY dependent on the impression you make on the people. Showing up late for shows is not a good way to endear yourself to your audience. When G'n'R didn't show up in Vancouver there were riots. At least Idle Sons will never have to worry about that with their unprofessional attitude. They'll never be as big as G'n'R, or even Kick Axe for that matter.

5. When making music is your way of keeping food in your belly, wouldn't you maybe want to take some pride in your product? Wouldn't you want to be remembered as someone who was professional, and dedicated to their music and what they had to say. I hope Thornley throws you off the tour for all the aforementioned crap.

6. When you're late for a show in Regina, Saskatchewan you know you're 15 Minutes are all most up...oh, what's that? I think I hear a watch alarm going off. I'll get back to you on that.